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  Semenyuk L. M. reader in developmental psychology: textbook for students/ed. by D. I. Feldstein: edition 2, revised. – Moscow: Institute of practical psychology, 1996. – 304 p. The formation…

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Children mirror their parents

 

About material expectations from marriage, early marriage, life for children and games during Services, says Archpriest Oleg Melnychuk.

As the hierarchy of the classical Patriarchal Church family wife, husband, children, God and love?

— Full-fledged family — that is from a Christian point of view?

Is Patriarchal model: husband, wife, children, over which God.

— What role does love play? This fastening means or way of constructing the hierarchy?

Is this: there is no love, no family. The love between husband and wife, love between children, love between parents and children, love between family and God. If there is no love in the family, there is no God. So it’s not family, it’s just a community of people.

— Children often reproach that parents do not go for them, but love is long gone. Does it make sense to continue such a family for the kids?

— To live for the sake of the children — the question wrong. The family is by definition a husband and a wife and then children. The wife should live with her husband, the husband’s family. Seeing the standard of the Union, the children try and build their relationships as they show mom and dad. The described situation cannot be allowed and it is a mistake of husband and wife, and children in any case should not suffer.

— What is the sins of the parents, is it possible to talk about it from the Orthodox point of view? Supposedly it with him so that his parents sinned.

— I do not recognize such a concept rather theory. I believe that every soul is responsible for their own actions. To be punished for something I did not, at least naramoto, and the Lord is so wise that such would not be allowed, I think.

— Material expectation from marriage is a Christian? Traditionally, parents are always looking for wealthy suitors, there was a dowry. How to balance the spiritual with the pragmatic when choosing a life partner?

— I for one channel asked the question: “what is the best age to marry?”. I replied “the sooner the better.” Why? The modern world is moving forward so fast that people completely disoriented. Thank God that the Church is conservative, eternal, immutable instance which specifies the right direction.

But in 17 years for young people with the same values, and for young people at the age of 27 is quite different, with more complex tasks. Therefore, once the person feels that he has found a soul mate, as soon as you feel a deep oneness with him or her, you must marry or get married. This is the only criterion. And regarding the material, I believe that this Union is doomed to torment in the life of the earth and in eternal life, the Lord will judge. Again, if there is no love and there is self-interested pragmatism, it is better not even to admit to ourselves a false sense of emotion, not to build pseudoplane. Love is sincerity. Sincerity is God. Materiality is Mammon. Vincas in the temple, we take a blessing from the God Mammon worship should not.

— Just a generation or two has radically changed the relationship in the family. Previously, parents were often the influencers, now friends. Two types of relations: Patriarchal and democratic. What do You think about this?

Patriarchal family offered to us by the Creator. The entire New Testament is based on this model. Christ offers the improvement of the family, more elevated model of the family where the husband and wife is God. True love is forgiveness. It does not require subordination, which closes the mouth and unable to speak. True love is “Behold, I am yours.” Doesn’t matter who you’re talking about: husband, wife, children. That offers today’s world is completely destroyed Patriarchal model. Then there is a replacement of important concepts of the so-called technological progress, in the center of it all are the kids. But the kids — not those who do not see the parents and look at them as money chest, and those who understand that they came into this world thanks to the parents that are able to buy a muffin

in school due to parental efforts, and if there is a sense of gratitude, therefore, properly brought up. It should be in classic Patriarchal model. But in his pastoral experience has to see and skewed one, and another: on one side a huge distance from the other children control parents. The more we read Scripture, the more clearly, how this is wrong. The task of parents is to teach children the fear of God, presence of God, and the nature of fear, by definition, implies distance, and subordination to his will, and knowing your place. Yes, loving you baby, you know that parents live for you, to make you happy, but you don’t have to cross the border, must know the measure, should feel responsible for it before God.

You may have noticed that we got in Sunday school strap hanging at the entrance, and it is very symbolic.

— With regard to young children when they need to tell them about God, teach us to pray and attend the temple? We must do it, even if there is no understanding of the Shrine?

— I invite you to worship, there you will see eight-year-old children, and I’ve met them already eight and a half years. The child should be in the temple with the embryonic period is the development of the fetus, this is the man, albeit in a different physiological dimension.

The task of a priest is to do everything necessary so that the children were in the temple. If the Orthodox Church will focus only on the grandmothers in headscarves, twenty years later, unfortunately, these handkerchiefs will appear in the Church less and less. Our Church — children’s Church, under the dome, gather those children whose families are trying to fulfill the commandments of Christ. During the service, children can play and draw, right during the service. There is a changing table, desks, chairs.

— That is, they do not spare, that were standing at attention?

— We have the same Patriarchal model of the family — I mean both families, native physiological and Church. Now, in the Church family has the right to make remarks only the Abbot of the temple, others have not, because the task of the Church and the clergy is not to prevent the children to come to the temple of God.

And not to discourage them from coming?

— You need to provide them with the right faith, the right faith is like a real life. It’s not only the costume and official status. It even pajamas, underwear and honesty before the Lord. Upholstered furniture, sofas, toys and a rug in our Church is not for status, but to ensure that children feel comfortable to come to the temple and said, “I Want to stay here”. Thank God, the result is. Twenty parishioners to forty children.

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