From a boy to raise a man who doesn’t cry?
Women can often hear the regret that today’s boys lack male parenting, and as a result lack of male parenting men do not manifest themselves in a masculine way. This is a huge however, only are we ready for such education, including whether women themselves to make difficult the norms of male parenting, education like men? Belief “Men don’t cry” – a compulsory part of male parenting. I think this is a good believe that it should be applied with discernment and intelligence.
Itself to cry – is not ashamed and not harmful. Good to cry from joy, to cry at the funeral, where appropriate and customary. But in other situations where children and women can cry, men do not. Men don’t cry, because for them it is usually pointless, and to be boys, we have a strong and reasonable people.
This is not all know, but for men the cry – meaningless. For women it’s different: if the woman mount, and she cried, she usually becomes easier, woman crying helps to cope with emotional pain. While the men have all wrong, their grief and their pain are not crying eases, no.
Women believe it is difficult, but it is so – from the tears of men does not help. If a man against his tears, they cause him protest and additional internal stress. If a man has nothing against men crying, he own tears indifferent as to any discharge of fluid from the body.
In male culture, crying is not accepted as good people – Mat. Crying – only the result of habit. Of course, if it’s a habit developed from early childhood, crying seems natural and inevitable, but in cultures where the weeping habit is not cultivated, habits to cry – no. Men don’t cry not because it’s shameful or bad, but because they have other things in life and they should be strong enough to save in any situation, the mind, and calm.
When in the soul of acute pain
The only situation where the crying is useful for men, it’s unbearable emotional pain, which can ease the sobs.
Sobbing, from the point of view of a doctor – vigorous respiratory bleeding, which intensively allocated endorphins: hormones of joy and pain medication.
When and if a man came to the emergency domestic situation, to preexplosive state and tries not to cry – this is bad, unjust and unreasonable.
If a steam boiler is too hot, definitely need to relieve steam through the valve, otherwise the boiler, especially fragile – will explode. Crying – the same safety valve with emotion, ready to blow up the soul.
In life can happen, and be ready always and for everything – difficult. The life can hit so that he will fall and cry bitterly strongest man. Crying inside and be calm on the outside, if it is not justified by the requirements of life – not about ZD Rehoboam’s. Try to remain calm – a worthy intention, but in a situation of acute pain rather erroneous: it is not a situation where the goals should be achieved at any cost. If the soul of acute pain, cried, it is natural and normal. It is important then to quickly pull myself together, to gather and return to the life of men – that is a big and often difficult work, work without unnecessary emotions and crying.
And after – to ensure that internal emergency situations arise.
If you go back to the analogy with the boiler, a real man – a quality, durable and well-functioning boiler, which is enough power (inner strength) to solve any problems in a regular mode, without overheating and without accidents.
When a man cries – it is a small but a defeat like men. Men – don’t cry. If you’re a man and you cry – you allowed yourself a chance, you lost him and brought the internal situation with emotions to emergency. It’s not terrible, but for men it’s wrong. Next time – be stronger and more prepared.
Or safer to treat their tears, if it’s just age. Yes, it’s interesting: after fifty years in the body men are gradually washed out male hormones, men begin to take on more feminine features, and outlines, and more often – totally unexpected! – a man punches a tear. Men’s tears or lack of tears – not only the result of a certain education, it’s also just a hormonal factor. And in this sense, it ’ s age.
“Men don’t cry” as a pedagogical suggestion children
Rarely cry boys whose parents taught in a difficult situation – act. Often crying for those children who don’t know what to do.
The boy fell, hit hard on the knee and sits, her rubs. “Poor thing, you’re in pain, come, I will spare you!” – she lamented grandmother, and the child began to cry. When I regret, I want to cry and feel poor. Women love to take care of little accidents and love to spare, but the result of this women’s education – a girl and not a boy.
Watch how children behave when during the game about something painful hit. They cry? – Yes, if there is a mother. If a mother or grandmother, the child cries and runs to her to regret it. If mom or grandmother not if children play alone, crying sounds surprisingly rare. Hit – he rubbed his knee, well okay, pasculli – ran on. Play!
Babies cry not just from the pain, babies cry for adults to regret it. Only later, with time, they begin to cry not adults, themselves, begin to feel sorry for themselves.
Psychologists taught on this course child psychology: “the Activities are divided between adult and child, eventually the child interiorities and becomes his personal”.
Actually, why not to cry if you want, and you are willing to spare? Why wouldn’t you cry if you’re a kid? Why not cry on with their lives, if the model of feminine behavior to cry when meeting with the terrible and difficult – right? Women cry because a number of them have men who will hear them and will protect them. But if the moment is scary and difficult, the man is to protect woman, starts to cry, the woman will remain vulnerable. The woman will remain – without a man.
“Cry, cry, it will be easier!” – tell his granddaughters grandmother: there is a normal training girls the norms of feminine behavior. “Men don’t cry” – the fathers talk to their sons, so they would not become a brat.
In this case, as in any learning situation, the pedagogical task should be feasible: if the situation is unexpected for a boy and too difficult, the father in this situation would say nothing, and just hug the crying son. Men grow up at once, to demand everything at once is impossible. But be mindful of the direction – should: “Men don’t cry”. Men are supposed to act, not to worry. Men should be strong.
It is not necessary to demand from our grandparents, so they can tell their favorite vocatum: “Stop crying, you’re the man!” – when the child is crying and looks at her pitifully plaintive eyes, grandma is to say unable. But if male education is a man, father, it must be maintained. I want to believe that our women are married to adequate men to whom to entrust the upbringing of children. Would be very happy if each boy will be his father – a real man, with whom he wants to emulate. Men should be strong, want women to be happy.