Mom, I’m scared!
Fear is normal protective reaction, one of the manifestations of the instinct of self-preservation. It occurs as a response to any threatening factor, in other words – some kind of danger, real or imaginary.
Of course, this is not the most pleasant experience. Apart from the psychological discomfort, the emotion of fear is accompanied by changes in heart rate and breathing, abrupt blood pressure and some other unpleasant physiological reactions.
Psychologists believe the emotion of fear is a fundamental human emotion is innate in every man without exception. However, depending on the age of fear manifests itself in different ways.
We can say without risking to fall into too much exaggeration that fear is swarming with us.
Newborn baby shivers, hearing a sharp sound. Experts believe that instinctive fear or, more commonly, anxiety. Since one and a half months, the child who is considered around silly, already able to worry about long absence of the mother, it scares excessive noise and moving around. In three months the baby already feels emotional state of the mother, her fear and anxiety immediately it is passed. If the mother or someone close to you behaves unusually, worry, fuss, the child at this age are able to realize that. Is our behavior scares him. The expression of fear in these babies is a loud cry. But when the baby is six months, he was not afraid, immediately after hearing a loud noise or seeing unusual gesture. First, he’s attentive eye will ask you whether to be afraid. If you smile, baby smile in response and quickly calm down. But if your behavior the kid will understand that you are concerned, he too begins to fear.
In 7 months the little man sharply reacts upon the long absence of the mother, in this case, he feels abandoned, deprived of support and protection. And at 8 months his fear already gets the situational character, that is, the child begins to fear specific things – strangers, unfamiliar environment. This is already the fear of experiencing an adult – reaction to a potential threat from the outside.
Frightening figures of strangers (let’s not forget that this kid is a grown man seems to be a giant) in the future will become the basis of images of scary monsters – Baba Yaga, Koshchei the deathless, etc. the Child is very clearly distinguishes and opposes relatives, including the mother, of course, is Central, strangers and people who appear to him to be hostile and dangerous.
Communicating with such a little one, you need to be careful that our negative experiences are not traumatized child.
In the second year of life, children are often afraid of loneliness. Strangers continue to cause fear, but it becomes more specific. Among others, children begin to identify people in white coats who can make the shot. The year old added to this is the fear of being punished, and fear of animals.
If a child of three is afraid to enter a dark room, because there hid Baba Yaga, think about whether you pay attention to him, grabs him your warmth, love and care. Perhaps you too often and severely punish the kid? Overly strict mother in the child’s imagination is easily converted into Baba Yaga, and the harsh unkind father becomes a wolf or the Bogeyman. If you do not want to be Baba Yaga for your baby, try to maintain a wise balance between affection and discipline
Such fears, the child will not be able to overcome on their own. Here need your active participation. Play child in a role-playing game, which will feature his frightening characters. Let the child himself will assign roles. Very good effect drawing. Let the child draws what he wants, thematic and other restrictions. Only in this case, try to gently push his imagination towards the scary images. When night monsters will be recorded on a sheet of paper, they will lose a significant portion of its terrible properties.
But darkness, children of primary school age are claustrophobic and loneliness. The kid won’t sleep alone, in a dark room with the door closed. In this case you can simply leave the door ajar or to buy your child a nightlight. Fear of nightmares is also typical for kids older than three years. At this age children begin to memorize and subsequently to relive their dreams. To help the child cope with severe impression left from scary dreams, they’ll have to talk quietly, creating a trusting and warm environment during the conversation. Try not to put pressure on the child, not to demand obedience from him bluntly.
In children of preschool age main fear becomes the fear of death. It manifests itself in the fear of the disease, attacks from the outside, the children fear that their parents may die suddenly, afraid of fires, natural disasters, wars – all that could pose a threat to life. They are afraid of the dark, nightmares and fairy tale monsters. Psychologists believe that the basis of all these fears is the fear of the death of his parents.
No wonder at this age children are often asked how many years people live, where we came from, where dead grandmother. And not in vain from the girls can hear that she will never become an old lady and will forever remain small. At this age the child begins to understand what age-related changes, what it means to grow up and to grow old, and is going to have to realize and accept the fact of the inevitability of death, which could also be a source of long-lasting and difficult to overcome fear.
This fear cannot be ignored, but to inflate its value is not worth it. If a child normally develops, grows in a friendly and happy family, he can easily overcome this crisis.
When the head of the family is brave and strong father, and the house is full of peace, understanding and love, the child will easily cope with their fears. Help the child feel secure, loved and desired, create all the possibilities for the proper formation of his personality, and the problem of fear will recede into the background.
If the circumstances of his childhood are not so rosy, parents need to make every effort, despite their adult problems, to provide a child a happy childhood.