Children can’t hear what he said: what we say and how it is understood by our children
Parents sometimes face the situation that they tell the child one thing and he does not hear and does the opposite. There is the anger and outrage. Let’s see what was the matter. Why the child “hear” what you say? It turns out the child perceives our phrase on its own.
In the childhood phrase-programs are easily digested, as the child’s mind control is lower than in adults. Any careless word perceived by children literally. Parents, often without realizing it, inform the child of the phrase with a hidden installation that is not benefiting them. Of course, this happens unconsciously, we are trying to help, but use the incorrect phrase.
Today we look at the often used phrase and determine how their child hears.
«do Not walk through puddles, catch a cold”, “the dog ” bite”, “Eat slowly, your stomach will be sore”, etc.
The child hears that the world is hostile. All, whatever he did, it is dangerous. That is, it is better to do nothing.
In the future it may become passive, afraid to make a step towards peace, it will be difficult to achieve success in business requires determination.
Say: “let’s put on rubber boots and together pomerium puddle!”, “Be please careful, take care of yourself!”, “let’s play a game, someone in the family to thoroughly chew food?”.
Explore the world with Your baby together. Tell him the consequences of meeting with a menacing dog, and don’t forget to tell you that there are a good dog. Allow the child to make a mistake. After all, the world he knows, not by Your teaching, by your feelings, emotions, actions.
“don’t cry!”, “Why are you acting like a little?”, “don’t scream the house!”, “don’t speak so loud!”
The child hears that show your emotions is impossible. It scolded by her parents. “I’d rather be silent” — he thinks.
In the future, people may become introverted, very quiet. All the emotions that the baby stores, can break free in the form of aggression, or Vice versa, excessive crying-easily thing.
Try to understand what the child feels, to help him deal with his condition. Ask: “You scared?”, “Tell me what’s bothering you…”, “Come on, give us a yell we loudly in the street…”.
“Look how obedient boy playing near”, “And Bob wrote better control than you. Why?”, “That’s what the girl is good, and you?”
The child hears that he is worse than others. He has nothing unique, it all goes wrong.
In the future, people will consider themselves unworthy of this or that good. He will not attempt to go forward, knowing that I will lose.
Focus on the positive aspects of your child. Do not forget that every person has unique qualities that are worthy of praise. Often tell your baby what a fellow he is, and how great he is doing, each time getting better and better: “Look! You today was better than yesterday! You’ve got talent”, “You’re Golden, good, I’m proud of you”, “You’re my favorite!”
Don’t be greedy!
«Share with Kate his toy now!”, “how could I be so greedy, don’t give the boy to play with the machine?”
The child hears that there is nothing. All – someone else’s. He needs to give everything. He and his feelings and desires are not important.
In the future, people may be sacrificial, giving people themselves to exhaustion, leaving nothing for himself.
Once, I told a great example on this topic:
Imagine, your friend comes to visit, opens the closet and begins to measure all your stuff, show off and take some yourself. Would you like that? So children, especially aged 3-5, is formed when a sense of ownership, don’t like to give up their toys.
Allow the child the right to dispose of their belongings on their own. Do not take into account the generally accepted stereotype that diapers need to be taught to share. Say: “Maybe you want to trade toys with a girl?”, “the Boy will not be able to play with you if you will not give toys”. Accept any answer. No, means no.
Let me help
“You so long with lock, let me help you!”, “what are you doing, go away, I will pack your toys”, “run – we’re late!”
The child hears that he is helpless, he did still does not work. Why, then, and start, for me successfully it can make an adult?
In the future, he may forget what it means to do something on their own, will require others to do everything for him, and blaming the world that all owe him something.
Allow your child to self-buckle lock, be patient toward his first failure and encourage him with the words: “you will Do it, you’re done!”. And not to be late and not to blame the baby – leave home a little earlier to calmly walk to the kindergarten and to consider along the way many interesting and informative.
“Phew, what a bad table, hit you, let’s go!”.
The child hears, I’m good, the whole world is bad. So, the world does not need, and I need. The world offends me constantly.
In the future, to develop the programme – a desire to make others hurt and bad. People will exalt themselves, respect others. He will be a victim of this world, constantly accusing him of everything that happens.
Say more often kid: “are You hurt? Where does it hurt? It will soon pass”, “Nothing happens…’ or ‘next time be more careful”.
Actually, the list of such phrases is endless. Some of these phrases will affect the future of children more, some less.
Most importantly, understand that words can inspire, and destroy everything in Your wonderful child.
It is very important just to treat the child as an independent and reasonable person, to allow him to explore the world, learn from their own mistakes.
Often tell your child the words of support and praise. Try to find in his blood those unique qualities that inherent nature and develop them. And most importantly, love their child, because love is born all those high qualities that we value in people. And, of course, serve in all a positive example!
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