Child curses his! How to react?
Mastering wealth of the native language, the small talker knows no taboos — he experiments with sounds, change the order of words in a sentence, invents his own expression. The baby greedily absorbs and tries to understand everything said around him. And very often one day this natural curiosity leads to the fact that the child faces special, non-literary stratum of speech culture.
For normal parents it is always a shock — moreover, that in the mouth of a little boy or girl curses sound particularly rude and ridiculous, so more often children, intuitively sensing the potential threat of these words, and making sure it follows the reactions of the adults start to drink them all the time. How to behave to parents and close relatives?
In Russia the attitude to a reduced vocabulary — whether it preliterature offensive expression or a clean Mat — has always been mixed. Someone thinks that swearing — it’s an integral part of the modern Russian speech, someone does not accept the slightest hint of a bad word to someone, as they say, does not swear obscenities and talking on it. But let the definition of the role of curses in our life scientists. We, parents, definitely one thing is clear — we want our children enjoyed the beautiful, clean, correct everyday speech!
Unfortunately, there are families in which boundaries are, shall we say, vague. Dad and mom regularly allow myself to use a strong language in conversation, despite the presence nearby of the child (not only his, but also others). These families — one of the sources of “knowledge” for kids. But not the only one.
Harsh words, calling names appears, the Mat can be heard everywhere, not only from friends and family. If the house does not swear, the kid is more likely “will zabalegui” and will soon be tested in practice unusual sonorous expression. He can recreate the context in which it was first heard, may just repeat it like a parrot, can innocently ask what that means. And adequate reaction from the parents is very much dependent on the future relationship between the baby and bad words.
So, get ready, dear mothers and fathers. No education, no carefully-chosen surroundings you will not be able to guarantee that one day the child will not make you blush to the roots of his hair. But to dread this moment absolutely not: you can say that “trail of taste” bad words — a natural stage in speech and mental development of the child. In addition, the use of battle can testify about what the child is trying to Express something new and unfamiliar, disturbing, exciting him. So curses — and messages from the subconscious of your kid. Being seen on time and properly understood, they will only improve your understanding. Hard-biting child — not bad, not spoiled, it’s the kid who wants to draw attention to themselves.
Psychologists in different ways suggest that you respond to what is heard from the child uses bad words. You can ignore them, you can ask the kid where she heard this and explain why competent educated people don’t say it, you can go to fabulous by and tell you that every bad word turns into a snake and hides somewhere in the house. Be sure to make it clear that such words are very frustrate you. In his own good all of these methods, and their application depends on the situation and temperament of the child.
What in any case can not do — so it is to scold me and even more to resort to corporal punishment for using expletives. It’s destructive and uneducational way — a child will make him experience that rudeness begets rudeness and other violence. It’s not the best impact on mental development. In addition, in children a strong manipulative inclinations: to find that certain expressions kick mom and dad out of the rut, the little experimenter may want to repeat the effect and more detailed study of its features. After all, Chad is constantly testing us for strength. Another reason to never respond to evil how to call for help or request: if a kid swore in their hearts, that something did not work, he is angry or hurt, do not rush to pity him or to help. Or he may decide that swearing — a normal part of a stressful situation. Laugh too impossible — the child immediately decide that you are delighted with his antics.
It is an experimental background for scandal is typical for younger kids — since about 3 years. They really sincerely want to know what is the meaning of an unusual word. Of course, parents are not recommended to specify its value, otherwise there is a fear that the child will learn the word as a synonym, and then get rid of it will be much harder. On the question of what it is, answer that the word means nothing, it’s just evil, or say that it’s so unpleasant that you, and speak about it unpleasant.
Bad words can be a way to attract the attention of senior. In this case, the child will satisfy even your violent backlash (there is the concept of “negative attention”). So precarious way kids can make it clear that parents are not sufficiently communicate with them. Paradoxically, but also profanity can be a reaction to the neglect by older relatives. Cursing, the child gives to understand that he needs personal space.
Kids-preschoolers and younger students often use language as a mimetic funds appropriated stereotype “steepness” imposed by television and cinema. Usually at this age they already know the meaning of obscene language and are well aware that swearing can wear the “decorative” meaning, not necessarily serving as an expression of anger or pain. Here parents need to be consistent — first, to pay close attention to what kind of media products and to what extent the child consumes, secondly, to understand what manners reign in his company, in the third — to try to understand the relationship with Chad idol and clearly to prove that bad words don’t make anyone “cool”.
The ability to listen and understand
The purpose of the parent — to teach the child to explain their condition, to manifest his curse. Here you will known psychological technique called “active listening”: for example, a child calls his buddy: “Bob ” the goat, he needs a face slap!” don’t ask what happened, it turns out, the switch of wit in a constructive direction: “You’re very upset, Bob did something bad to you”. Hearing that the parent understands his emotions, the child switches to their clarification: “No, I was offended by Denis, and Bob hadn’t stepped in!”. Reply mom: “Bob’s your friend, and you wanted to support you”. And now the conversation goes in a completely different direction, growing mutual trust!
When mom and dad patiently and consistently demonstrate their negative attitude to the bad words, the child is aware of their undesirability and learns to control himself. But if parents are constantly working on myself and stop hurting, the pain, the humiliation of the child, referring to him as an equal, with deserved respect, and understanding in the family is stronger for it.