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Children and computer games. Discussion on LiveInternet

Big_Damn_Hero all posts by I was Recently asked to work with a boy of ten, who all his free time spends on computer games. If he deny, maybe a day not to eat, with their parents not to talk. One day after the ban was a call from the school, reported that the son is truant for a week. It turned out that he walks instead of school to the Internet cafe to play. Parents went to an Internet cafe, did not let his son in school time, to limit the money. The boy began to steal, to take, to go to another cafe.

Began to look for the reason. Spent in the house a couple of days, looked how is the communication between parents and child.

Comes home from school, immediately behind a computer. Sometimes at the insistence of parents is to first lessons, but with an emphasis on speed and not quality. In the morning before school goes to check out the game. Lunch at the computer causing constant skirmishes with the parents.

Asked him to eat at the table once. He agreed. As per table nchego happens, the TV is on in the background all eat in silence or asking trite “As success in school.”

In the evening, parents are asked to turn off the computer. If the boy obeys, then they will ask him a couple questions like “how was school, called Lee babouska” and go watch TV.

Asked my parents why such poor conversations, they said that his son was not interested in anything except computer games. But it does not happen, it happens that the child simply does not interested or just parents do not know my son. Invited them to record and develop topics of conversation over lunch, and as there is by turning off the TV. Was hard at first. But when the conversation got really interesting (and not about mutual friends), the child began to take an active part.

From which I concluded that the parents simply didn’t offer really interesting topics for conversation.

Half an hour of communication in the day – it’s not much, but it’s a minus one brick from the wall between parents and child. Assuming that a full-fledged conversations and opinion of the son is heard and considered as equal.

In parallel to find out what else they offered to do son with the family that he was interested as well as computer games? The trip to the water Park? The amusement Park? The zoo? Movie? The trip to the military Museum? (because the child is interested in shooters) hike in the woods with tents etc Parents have made big eyes, admitted that once a month poseschyayut movie, justifying it by the fact that more of the boy did not care.

I asked him immediately to go to the water Park, the child immediately agreed and went to pack. Mom blushed.

Created field work on family leisure, advised the family together to study the poster, to seek new and interesting ways to spend some time together. If the child does not seem interesting, don’t force, need or be interested in or looking for another. Again, the conversation at dinner was added.

Remembered how in my childhood, he played doom and heroes, about any of Russification and then the speech was not that gave me a good incentive to learn English. Moved all language games, boy first prifigel. but you still want to play, watch, began to write the words. Put it in Google translation. Two weeks later the kid boasted five in English, although previously studied at three.

Saw that reenac playing Skyrim, talked about the fact that some of the cities of Skyrim really exist or existed enlightened about hierarchies, spoke about the middle ages, attitudes towards witchcraft. The guy looked at the history, started to read the wiki. I asked why don’t you ask your teacher for history, it turned out that the teacher is not interested in the subject which he teaches. But this is not my area of expertise. Invited parents to build on their own. Also encouraged the boy to write on this material. He came home from school proud.

Plays the same in Mass Effect is actually a huge field of physics, astronomy, biology, geography. That flies, shoots, weight, acceleration, speed, influence of radiation, how the atmosphere affects the temperature. Offered to the parents to continue to seek information and talk to the child.

Parents complained that her son because of computer games has no friends. But then there was all simply – the fat boy. Maybe in their time thick at the school, not cimorelli, but in mine it was like a death sentence. He has experienced the burdens of school loser, when he came into a new class with brackets on teeth. Two years whole class looked for new synonyms for the phrase “iron teeth”, I’m always the one standing in the corner, was friends with such a loser, he was thick. So it is no wonder that the child prefers to be “elf-eighties level” and not a school student, a loner.

Decided to burn it to karate, so as to revise the diet.

Parents complained that the son does not read. Asked how long they read. Dad said that he’s reading a detective in the metro, but aged son read a lot. That didn’t surprise me. At the age of his son – the reading was very important. Now, when you obtain information, not from books but from movies, children prefer the second option, because the brighter and more colorful. Such is child psychology, nothing to do. Offered all filmed to give in a filmed version. Buy, download interesting historical documentary films. And not to put pressure on the child. In our time, a boy of ten might not be interested in the story of how three sisters drinking tea. Difficult for many to accept, but unfortunately, they cannot force to read.

From all this history, I conclude that when a child is lost online, the problem comes from the relations in the family. If a person can’t practice in reality is more interesting than a trip to grandma’s, if the parents are not able to interest the child talking or joint leisure time, he is looking for interesting lessons where can find. If parents spend their free time watching TV, it is not surprising that a child sits at the computer. If no contact, then force it to appear will not make. You should work on, need to work on dialogue. You need to try to understand what engages the child in play and how to get something in an everyday world. Just ban will not lead to anything except reinforcing wall. The child as a developing personality, very sensitive to restrictions of their freedom and the pressure of authority. You can’t just come home from work and demand that the child’s communication, because parents want. He is also the personality and communication it should be interesting. And of course, it cannot be expected that even with all the efforts of the child will leave the game in the past, it can only reduce the time spent on the computer. But games can be made to work on its development.

Summary: a month and a half of work – significant result.

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How to raise children to respect their parents
  Communication between parents and children is often not easy. Parents often come complaints of child disobedience, and that the child belongs to radiusim his people without any respect. Not…

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