What are the symptoms of attention deficit in children?
The modern pace of life leads to a lack of time. Work, household things, it’s not possible to give more attention to the child. But what are the consequences of this lack of attention?
In this question helped us to understand the expert-psychologist Inga Voitko :
The connection between mother and child has been the subject of close study by psychologists of the psychoanalytic direction, which made a major contribution to the study of infancy (R. Spokes, J. Dunn, J. Bowlby, M. Ellsworth, etc.). The vital importance of this relationship became evident during the second world war, when many children from infant age were separated from their mothers and placed in various orphanages and children’s homes.
Despite normal food and good medical care that was provided in these institutions, children in them would get sick of some strange disease. They lost appetite, cheerfulness, stopped moving, their usual occupation was thumb sucking or manipulation of the genitals. In this case, the child’s view was senselessly staring at one point, and the body swayed rhythmically. Life was slowly fading away, and often these children died before reaching one year.
Psychologists realized that all these symptoms are caused by the lack of communication with adults. The child was not enough to satisfy organic needs (eat, drink, sleep). He needs to feel close adult – to see his smile, hear his voice and feel his warmth. These “medication” helped to cure sick children.
As outwardly manifested attention deficit child?
The main symptom is that the child tries to produce or to gain the attention of adults. And if the child does not receive positive attention in the form of smiles, hugs, playing together, – he did not stop his action, becomes important because any attention, including negative: screaming, spanking, punishment.
The difficulty of diagnosing a lack of parental attention is that it seems itself can lead like spoiled children, and under-loved. Because both of these extremes lead to violations of children’s behaviour. Therefore, it is better for parents to wonder whether they are paying attention to your child?
Parents should follow their feelings. When the child begins to fight for their attention, they have a feeling of irritation. If the child is opposed to the will of his parents, they anger arises. If the child takes revenge, it is the parents there is a feeling of resentment.
In my practice there were different cases related to the lack of attention to children, here’s one: at the consultation, the mother complained that the child, a girl 7 years old, coming home, took a needle and pricked till the blood itself the palm. Diagnosing the girl, I realized that the child lacked the attention mom and so she was attracted. To the question “how Much and how you pay attention to a child?” mom said something like this: I try to develop their child and put a lot of effort, after school we run to the dance, then in English, then lessons. We visited art and music schools. I try to feed her quality food, buy her nice clothes and lots of toys. I very much give the child attention, because don’t work and I drive her to all educational sessions”.
What’s wrong with this mom, like many others? She is not paying attention specifically daughter, she pays attention to its development, nutrition, health. They don’t talk much. And so the child does not feel the attitude of parents to him.
As in the future may be affected by the attention deficit in children?
The lack of attention from parents can lead to different consequences. This is a different form of addiction, and even suicide and criminal acts. If the child has love in his childhood, he may require the love and attention in older age. This can be expressed in a constant desire to hug teachers, counselors, in the manifestation of aggression (to pull, to hurt) for the purpose of paying attention. And there are those kids who snap and go in yourself.
A chronic deficiency of attention in children leads to the fact that they grow up to be insecure. If a child learns to draw attention to his tantrum or aggression, these behaviours are often carried into adulthood. Which leads to masochistic inclinations.
Later, in adolescence, your child will not have to tell you anything, you lose contact with him and influence, and there is danger of bad company, various dependencies, the beginning of the crime.
In adulthood these people suffer from being constantly seek approval and do not know how to build successful family relationships. Rarely successful in work and career.
How much you need to pay attention to a child?
Yes, not very much. The main thing is to do: you need to talk with the child about his life and problems, interested in them, to conduct educational talk quietly, read him stories, play with it. To pay attention to it, your baby. And very important: when talking to watch your child in the eye and at least three times a day to give him a hug.
I often hear from children that evening, when the whole family gathers at home, dad is sitting in the computer mom on the phone or iPads, and the child watches cartoons. We lose communication, support, warmth of relations, understanding,- which lives and fastens family. And everyone in this family alone in their own way.
It is not surprising that over time, adults will find a replacement in the fellowship, and the child will grow up with a complex of uselessness and inferiority.
Therefore, your precious attention not send in monitors and phones and to each other, and then the family will be strong and your children are happy.
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